Tag: marriage

Articles, Jeanette Porter

JEALOUSY AND RIVALRY

| Jeanette

JEALOUSY AND RIVALRY

I would like to thank my heavenly Father for making this ministry possible, and giving me the grace to follow Him. 
Our Scripture reading is found in Genesis Chapter 37, and Ephesians 5:28-33.

When we think of jealousy and rivalry, our minds go back to times in our lives when we have seen this in action.  Could be, our actions, or the actions of others around us, or it could be what we hear from the media; but wherever we hear it, or experience it, we know it is rampant on this globe.

It is very important we know what the Bible has to say about it, so we can avoid it.

Jealousy means:  Possessiveness, resentfulness, morbid suspicion, mistrust, and flaming anger.
Rivalry means: Competition, opposing, striving to win, struggle to surpass, contest, battle of wills.

Wow!

You might say, “I read in the Bible where it says, God is a jealous God.”
You’re right.  We are going there first.
Exodus 20:5,6 —-Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them (referring to idols),nor serve them: For I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the Fathers upon the children unto the third  and fourth generation of them that hate Me;
      and showing mercy unto thousands of them that love Me, and keep My commandments.
God said it. I am a jealous God.
God will not give His glory to another.
He will not tolerate a rival near His throne.
He is not jealous as the Greeks thought;  of mere success, or greatness; but He is very jealous of His own honor, and will not have the respect and reverence which is due to Him, given to other beings or objects.

What about family ?
There has always been jealousy and rivalry in the family:
Marital
Siblings
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law
and so on —-

There has always been jealousy and rivalry in the Church family
And jealousy and rivalry in the work place.
But God wants us to get above that and come out to freedom from this torment, because …jealousy has torment… attached to it.

Let’s look at a family situation in Genesis 37:4,11,18,28,31-32,35, where jealousy between brothers causes much pain to the family.
Our story begins when Joseph was only seventeen years old.
He was shepherding the flock with his brothers, and brought his father a bad report on them. (verse 2)
Jacob loved Joseph more than all his children because he was the son of his old age and made him a coat of many colors. (verse 3)
4-  And when his brethren saw that their father loved him  more than all his brethren, they hated him and could not speak peaecably to him.
5-  And Joseph dreamed a dream, and he told it to his brethren (brothers): and they hated him yet the more.
He had dreamed they had bowed down in respect to him. (verse 7)
This caused them to hate him more. (verse 8)
In verse 9 and 10, he dreamed another dream, and told it to his brothers and his father. But his father rebuked him and said to him, What is the meaning of this dream that you have dreamed?  Shall I and your mother and your brothers actually come to bow down ourselves to the earth and do homage to you?
 Verse 11 —- Joseph’s brothers envied him ; but his father observed the saying (his father took notice of the saying and pondered over it) 
Although Joseph was seemingly trying to do the right thing, and his brothers were doing evil things, it seems to me these kinds of dreams should have been kept in his heart, and not shared with his brothers.
We see here to, his father did correct him when he needed it.
In our day and time we would call this a dysfunctional family, because the other brothers were the sons of two other wives. (verse 2)
Joseph was their half brother.

One day, when the brothers were feeding and shepherding their father’s flock; Israel told Joseph, “Go see whether or not everything is all right with your brothers and with the flock, and report back to me”. (14)
     18 – And when they saw him afar off, even before he came near unto them, they conspired against him to slay him.
And they said to each other, “Here comes this dreamer, and master of dreams.  Let us kill him and throw his body in some pit ; then we will say to our father, some wild beast has devoured him; and we will see what will become of his dreams!” (verses 19,20)

Reuben heard it and said, let’s not kill him, for Rueben’s plan was to rescue him, and take him back to his father.  Reuben said, “Shed no blood.”  So they took him and stripped him of his coat of many colors and cast him in a well-like pit with no water; and sat down to lunch. (verses 21-25)
25-  When they looked up, they saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead, going on their way down to Egypt.
26-  And Judah said to his brothers, What do we gain if we slay our brother and conceal his blood?”
27-  Let us sell him to the Ishmaelites.  And they sold him for twenty pieces of silver, which is a sermon of it’s own, because Jesus was betrayed and sold-out for twenty pieces of silver: —- but let’s go on.
28-  And They took Joseph into Egypt.
29-  Then Reuben , who had not been there when the brothers plotted to sell the lad, returned ; and behold, Joseph was not in the pit.
31,32- They killed an animal, dipped it in the blood and sent it to their father.
34-  And Jacob tore his clothes, would not eat, and went into mourning.
35-  His sons and daughters tried to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted and said “I will go to my grave to mourning for my son.”
And his father wept for him.
36-  And the Midianites, and Ishmaelites sold Joseph in Egypt to Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh.
39:2- But the Lord was with Joseph. 
As the story goes on we see Joseph being put down and then being lifted up to the number one place next to Pharaoh.

God had given to him the gift of interpreting dreams, and used this gift to lift him up to this great position to eventually help his family in a time of famine, to keep them alive, and because his family had to come to Egypt where they could buy food, they in due time, did bow before Joseph, because reigned next to Pharaoh.
H
In this story, we see sibling rivalry in the worst degree.  Jealousy and rivalry which led to hate and anger and a conspiracy to do harm followed by lies to cover-up. After which, grief filled the family.

Many do not actually carry-out what they think to do to their siblings, but to hate them shows what is in their heart.

Christians struggle with jealousy at times, which brings on curses and severe problems to come upon them, if not dealt with.
I can think of other accounts of jealousy that arises in families, such as one family member is more prosperous than the other.

A Mother-in-law may be jealous of her Daughter-in-law, or the other way around. Sometimes they may see each other as rivals for his attention.
I tell you, this should not be going on in the life of a Christian..  It is walking in the flesh.  This brings so much trouble into the family that does not need to be there.  Get over it!  It grieves your relationship with God.
Woman of God, understand this: the love the son has for his mother, is different from the love he has for his wife.  To try to cause division between either of these two relationships will backfire on you.
Listen to this Scripture in Ephesians 5:28-33 —-So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
      For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the Church: (or just like the Lord does the Church).
      For we are members of His body, of His flesh, and of His bones.
      For this cause (or this reason) shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
      This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the Church.
      Nevertheless let everyone of you in particular (or personally) so love his wife even as himself and the wife see that she reverence (or honor) her husband.
Mother-in-laws sometimes think their son or daughter could have done much better in choosing their spouse: but many times they are looking at the faults of the in-law, and they fail to see their child’s imperfections.
There should be a love bond between in-laws because of the marriage bond of their child to the one they choose. 
God If that child of yours is so perfect and intelligent and such a magnificent Christian, why do you think they made such a bad choice?
Think about it!
I tell you, if more time was spent trying to understand, and praying for that child’s spouse, there would be more peace and harmony in their lives, as well as your relationship with your child; not to mention the relationship between you and God.
If there is no harmony in the family, the children pick-up on it and become like you.
I am sorry to say, jealousy and rivalry are rampant in the Body of Christ as well as in family life.
This shouldn’t be.  Allow the Holy Spirit to convict you and change you into that person that overlooks the faults of others.

Pray this prayer with me: Father, I want to be like Jesus. Help me to deal with any jealousy or rivalry in my life.  I repent of it. I know it hurts my relationship with You. Please forgive me and cleanse me of all unrighteousness.  Bring harmony in every area of my life. In Jesus Name I pray.  Amen.
   

 

     

 

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Articles, Jeanette Porter

LOVE YOUR HUSBAND

| Jeanette

LOVE YOUR HUSBAND

Woman of God, do you struggle with the question:
What is my role in God’s kingdom?
I desire to be the best I can be in every area of my life,
But where are those older women who are supposed to teach me?
I want to please God.
I want to be a godly example in my home.
Help me!
Well, this message was birthed by God, to do this very thing.
I will attempt to answer your questions.

I am only a woman myself, with your same desires.
God has dealt with me to write this message just for you.
You may not even be a Christian, but the Lord somehow prompted you to follow this site.

No marriage can work without God in the center of the home.

As we go through the Scriptures together,
I ask you to have your Bible open.

Today we will be studying Titus 2:4 –
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children.
I want to zero in on a portion of this verse.
…that they may teach the young women to…love their husbands…
Why would we have to be taught to love our husbands?
There must be some of us who have a problem in this area.
If not, it wouldn’t even be mentioned in the precious Word of God.

I feel we need to love our husbands in three areas:
Phileo (in the Greek) which is friendship love
Agape (in the Greek) which is the God kind of love
Awhab, (pronounced aw-hab’, in the Hebrew) Which is sensual or romantic love

In our hearts, we must have more love for our husbands than anyone on this earth, because we are supposed to love them in three areas
whereas we only love all others with two kinds of love.

The God Kind of LoveLadies, love that husband first with the God kind of love.

Begin to look at him as God sees him.
The way you get to this place, is to put God first in your life.
God requires time with you; and you can’t really be a woman of God without it.
My secret place with God is early in the morning, in the sunroom of our home. – I get my Bible, study material, and my journal and spend time with my Lord alone.
Sometimes I write prayers to God in My journal.
Many times things have come up during the day I would not have reacted to in the right way, except that God had given me a Scripture or inspiration that helped me to walk in the Spirit that day.

If we love the Lord our God with all our soul and all our might,
He will help us to love our husbands the way He planned in the beginning.
God will help us show respect to that man so our children will do the same.

The God kind of love is not selfish nor jealous.
The God kind of love can only come from our Creator.
So ask Him for it.

Friendship love
This kind of love should have been the love with which your relationship began; and should continue throughout your lives together.
Our husbands should be our best friend.
Treat him that way, he will warm up to it.
It is a proven fact that there is still a little boy inside every husband.

We should desire to be with them more than anyone else on this earth.
Many young women make the mistake of “switching friends” when the children come along. The children become our best friends and the husband feels pushed aside.
Girl, why did you marry that man in the first place?
Because you just couldn’t live without him. Well, what happened?
You who work outside the home, might say, “The children need all my attention when I get home.”
You that are stay-at-home moms say “I have been with these children all day, I don’t feel like giving my husband special attention when he gets home. I’m exhausted”.

Spending time with God each day can help you to put your priorities in order. Don’t forget, you chose that man to be your husband.

Romantic or Sensual Love
This kind of love is just as important as the other two because God sanctioned it for husband and wife together (only). Courtship before marriage is a time to learn things about each other and spend time with the one God has led to you.
It seems to me there is too much sexual contact experienced during the courting period in this day and time.
Sensual love is only to be experienced by husband and wife.
It is a gift a bride and groom give to each other after the wedding ceremony.
It is ordained by God and should be kept alive all the days of your lives together. It is wonderful and is worth waiting for.

I will sum-up this message today with these words.
Many women want to choose there own way of doing things, but I have found through trial and error, over the years, that the Word works.
Human intellect always thinks it’s right, but throughout the years, as man has come back to the Biblical point of view, they have found stability in it’s principles.
We know, as a woman of God, the power of the Word and the power of prayer, has brought us into a greater insight and revelation of the Lord’s intentions for us, which is always good: what is best for us.

God’s Word never fails.
His plan is to bring us to the place He wants us to be as wives.
He shows us the correct way, which cannot be improved upon.

Your own way might work for a while, but rebellion to God’s Word brings a curse with it every time. We can receive a curse or a blessing.
We all should desire God’s blessings.
This is my desire for you also — blessings!

My prayer for you is, that you will put into practice what you have learned today, with God’s help.

I speak blessings over you; spiritually, physically and financially.

The Word of God says:
Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.” (3 John 2)
This is God’s will for you.

Let’s look at a bad marriage example
Laura is married to a young man she doesn’t even like.
When they were dating, he was very affectionate and attentive.
He also sent her gifts, but she knew nothing about him.
It happened so quick, she was swept off her feet.
They were married soon after they met,
but she really didn’t know him.

She began to see traits in him she had never noticed before.
He was jealous. He soon became violent and beat her many times.
She is trapped.
What happened?

We need to know more about those we become attracted to.
We should only become interested in a man of God,
not some one who only professes to be a man of God.
Ask questions before you get too interested.

You who are already married, don’t make the mistake of trying to change him to be what you want him to be.
That never works.
Ask God to do the changing each time you see something about him you don’t like.
Pray for him.
Maybe it’s you. Maybe you are too sensitive, so pray the same prayer for yourself.
“Father, I come to You in the name of Jesus. Help me and my husband to be the woman and man of God you created us to be.
Help our friendship to grow, that we might have a greater understanding of each other”.

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Articles, Nathan Bland

Ham’s Sin

| LMCI

Noah had 3 sons- Shem, Ham and Japheth. In chapter 9 of Genesis, Ham had committed a sin. This sin caused Noah to be so angry that one of Ham’s seeds, Canaan, was cursed… the entire lineage of people from the seed of Canaan. What was Ham’s sin?

Genesis 9: 18-29
18. And the sons of Noah, that went forth of the ark, were Shem, and Ham, and Japheth: and Ham is the father of Canaan.
19. These are the three sons of Noah: and of them was the whole earth overspread.
20. And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
21. And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.
22. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.
23. And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father’s nakedness.
24. And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.
25. And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.
26. And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
27. God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
28. And Noah lived after the flood three hundred and fifty years.
29. And all the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years: and he died.
KJV

First off, in verse 18 there is something significant.
“18. And the sons of Noah, that went forth of the ark, were Shem, and Ham, and Japheth: and Ham is the father of Canaan.”

Noah had three sons and Noah’s three sons each had children. So what made Ham’s seed significant enough to mention. A quick look at chapter 10 will reveal that this was not Ham’s only son…

Genesis 10:6
6. And the sons of Ham; Cush, and Mizraim, and Phut, and Canaan.
KJV

We never want to just read over something so quickly in the bible  and disregard anything as just “flavor text” or filler- everything written actually means something. So why if Ham had 4 sons is Canaan mentioned in verse 18? Why is this seed significant?

Look at verse 22
“22. And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.”

In this verse Ham is, again, identified specifically as the father of Canaan. So we need to dig a little deeper with this text at this point and find out what is going on here. What does this verse mean by “saw the nakedness of his father“? By reading verses 20-21,

20. And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
21. And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.

-we could easily assume this was talking about Noah being naked and move on- but that would not explain the anger of his father and the cursing of an entire seed. There is something missing…

Well something we often overlook, especially those of us who live in the western world, is that when a man and a woman get married they become one flesh. They are no longer two, but one the bible says. So we overlook the fact that Noah had three sons and therefore had to have a wife to bear him these children. Sometimes you may see on an announcement about, or a letter to a married couple- addressed as “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe”. We know because they are married that this includes John Doe’s wife even though her name is not mentioned. When in verse 21 it says “and he was uncovered within his tent” this is referring to Noah’s wife.

Now back to verse 22- what does “saw the nakedness of his father” mean? Well a quick trip through the book of Leviticus will open up revelation to us on this…

Leviticus 20:11
11. And the man that lieth with his father’s wife hath uncovered his father’s nakedness: both of them shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
KJV

Whoa! Now Noah’s anger is definitely understandable! Now let’s seal this fact.

25. And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.

I like the term used in the NASB which helps us to really understand who Canaan’s brethren are.

25. So he said, Cursed be Canaan; A servant of servants He shall be to his brothers.
NASB

Well we know that Ham is Canaan’s father, so who are Canaan’s brothers? well… read on…

26. And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
27. God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.

Wait a minute… Canaan shall be the servant of Shem and Japheth- so Shem and Japheth are his brothers… but that’s Ham’s brothers. So how can Canaan have the same brothers as his father? Only if Canaan’s mother is the mother of Shem and Japheth.

And there you have it. Canaan was a seed that was not supposed to be. The land should have been inhabited by the three sons of Noah, but because of Ham’s sin a fourth was added that would cause much issue for Abraham’s seed that was unnecessary. The promised land was the land of Canaan, that Abraham was sent into, which is where the descendants of Canaan dwelt. Canaan’s curse was so important to identify, that Abraham gave important instruction to his son Isaac not to take a wife of the children of Canaan- as did Isaac give instruction of this to Jacob. Esau in his rebellion to his father, took wives of this lineage from Canaan through Ishmael.

It never pays to break God’s laws- it only makes things harder. God has given us specific instruction about life- and it’s all for our good. He is the manufacturer of all creation and knows what is best for His design.

Praise God for His instruction, I will delight myself in His laws and in Him will I trust and obey!

-For The Kingdom, Nathan Bland

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